(holding note, descends in pitch )
( pitch deepens )
WOMAN: I'm gonna say our mantra,
"This is the voice I want to use, "
over and over again, but with different inflections,
and I want you to try to mimic what I'm doing.
( high pitched ) This is the voice I want to use.
( more modulated ) This is the voice I want to use.
Now, what we're gonna do is press down on our tongue
and sort of watch what's happening at the back of our mouths.
Ready?
( speaks one note )
Aaaah...
( Latin music playing )
( woman sings in Spanish )
MAN: Any suicidal tendencies?
WOMAN: No.
You ever felt as though you were being followed?
No.
Any history of family mental illness?
No.
Medical procedures to date?
The usual electrolysis, three years of hormone therapy,
facial feminization surgery, brow lift, forehead reduction,
jaw re-contouring, and a tracheal shave.
You look very authentic.
I try to blend in. Keep a low profile.
I believe the slang terminology is "Living Stealth. "
Do you consider yourself a happy person?
Yes.
I mean, no.
I mean...
I will be.
Miss Osbourne,
there's no such thing as a right answer in this office.
Yes, I'm a very happy person.
How can I help you if you won't be honest with me?
You can sign that consent form.
Please.
The American Psychiatric Association
categorizes gender dysphoria as a very serious mental disorder.
After my operation,
not even a gynecologist will be able to detect
anything out of the ordinary about my body.
I will be a woman.
Don't you find it odd that plastic surgery
can cure a mental disorder?
How do you feel about your penis?
It disgusts me.
I don't even like looking at it.
What about friends?
They don't like it, either.
No, I mean, do you have the support of friends?
I'm very close to my therapist.
What about your family?
My family is dead.
# You take some hormones #
# And I'll take some hormones #
# I'll be a woman before you #
# Make me happy when skies... #
Shit.
I mean darn.
Darn. I mean darn it.
Darn it, darn it, darn it.
Mmm.
Good night, Bree.
Sleep tight, Bree.
Hmm.
( Spanish music playing )
I ¨®rale!
Oh!
This is the voice.
I...this...
this is the voice.
This is the voice. ( phone rings )
Hello. May I please speak to
Mrs. or Mrs. Bhumibol Niratpattanasani?
Mrs. Niratpattanasani, this is Bree Osbourne calling
with a special introductory offer
from the National Home Shopping...
Hello? ( dial tone )
( phone rings )
Hello.
Stanley Schupak doesn't live here anymore.
Who's calling?
Stanley doesn't have a son.
You must have the wrong number.
How old are you?
Why don't you call your mother?
( phone beeps )
( rings )
Hello. May I please speak to Mr. Jamal Niang?
Mr. Niang, it's Bree Osbourne calling from the National Home Shopping Club
with a special introductory rate of only $19.90...
( click ) Hello?
BREE: He signed it.
I am so proud of you! Two signatures.
I hereby pronounce you officially legal to undergo sexual reassignment surgery.
Thank you.
I just...
Mmm.
Thank you.
So...
What else is new?
I made my sales quota for the month on Tuesday.
That pink lamb's wool cardigan that I ordered arrived.
Oh, and this is odd.
I got a phone call last night
from a juvenile inmate of the New York prison system.
- He claimed to be Stanley's son. - No third person.
My son.
I thought you told me that you were a virgin.
Hmm.
There was this one girl at college,
but the whole thing was so...
tragically lesbian that I didn't think it counted.
Wow!
A son.
An alleged son.
He's probably just some sort of scam artist.
What is he scamming you for?
Well, I guess we'll never know.
Nothing is gonna stop me
from checking into that hospital next week.
I'm not gonna get dragged back into Stanley's old life.
Stanley's life is your life.
Why don't you get in touch with the mother?
She's dead.
Anyway, he's practically 1 8.
He's old enough to take care of himself.
Bree... this is a part of your body
that cannot be discarded.
I don't want you to go through this metamorphosis
only to find out you're still incomplete.
What if l...
visit him later...
after my surgery...
after I've settled into my new life?
When you're ready.
What are you doing?
I can't give this to your surgeon right now.
Yes, you can.
Margaret, I can't miss my surgery on Friday.
They're booked up a year in advance.
I'll wire bail money to New York.
I'll-I'll call a social worker
and have someone check in on him.
What do you want me to do?
Bree, honey...
I just want you to be ready.
( opera singing plays on record )
( singing stops, then proceeds slowly )
( singing resumes at regular speed )
Hello. May I please have the number
of the New York City downtown lock-up?
MAN: Mr. Schupak.
Ms. Schupak.
I mean, Ms. Osbourne. I changed it.
Can I ask what your relationship is to the prisoner?
Allegedly, I'm his...
allegedly, he's my son.
This is a new one.
According to this, he shoplifted a frog.
Plus we have testimony that he was in possession
of a small amount of a suspicious-looking white powder,
although emergency services was unable to recover the evidence.
Drugs?
Is he an addict?
Most of 'em are.
Most of whom are?
Are you aware that your son's been hustling on the streets
working as a prostitute?
- How much is the bail? - Bail's set at one dollar.
I can't possibly afford...
one dollar?
MAN: Sabrina Claire Osbourne?
Meet Toby Wilkins.
Uh...
my friends call me Bree.
Jesus the reformer?
That's one of these churches that sends missionaries out
to guide street people back to God.
No.
I'm...
...from the church of the potential father.
JUKEBOX: # I am a pilgrim #
# I am a stranger #
# Travelin' through #
Oh, yes.
( clears throat )
Dear God...
bless this food and bless this restaurant
and all the people in it.
And everyone else...everywhere.
Sic transit gloria mundi, in excelsis Deo.
Amen.
Do you have any percs?
Vicodin? Anything with codeine?
Sorry. I'm all out.
So why don't you tell me something about yourself.
I'm not naming any names.
I said about yourself.
Is Toby short for something?
A diminutive?
No, it's American.
Where do you come from?
Callicoon.
Where's Callicoon?
In Kentucky. Duh.
Is that where your family is?
My mother's dead.
She had a stroke.
- Is there anyone else? - I had a step-father.
- That's wonderful. - Me and him don't get along.
Why not?
T.M.I.
Too much information.
What about grandparents?
Aunts, uncles?
I don't need any family. I can take care of myself.
I'm a loner.
That's wonderful. That's the spirit.
I've been meanin' to thank you for bailin' me out.
You're welcome.
I decided in jail I'm gonna give up hustling.
It's degradable.
Degrading.
How many people inhabit this place?
Three.
Dude, by the way,
I was just holding those drugs for a friend.
I'm not stupid.
Junkies just live for the day.
No ambition or anything.
- You have ambition? - Yeah.
I'm gonna get a career in the movies.
Ten, twenty, forty.
Sixty, eighty.
One hundred.
Here.
Will that hold you for a while?
Yeah. Dude, this is great.
I wish you would stop calling me dude.
Well, I best be on my way.
Got a flight to Los Angeles first thing in the morning.
Maybe I'll see ya out there.
That's where they make the movies, right?
I was gonna hitchhike out there like, maybe, tomorrow.
You can't.
You don't wanna add jumping bail to your permanent record.
I'll change my street name.
Something like Stanley.
Stan.
Stan the man. That's my dad's name.
There's his picture.
He's with my mom.
Mmm.
You okay?
I'm a little dizzy.
Beverly Hills is close to the ocean, right?
Maybe I'll learn how to surf.
Dye my hair blonde for the movies.
They love blondes there.
I mean, blonde and blondes.
Stocks and blondes.
Bodacious blonde bottoms.
Not that I'm a bottom or anything.
Are you talking about pornographic films?
Duh.
Is there a...
Iadies room in this establishment?
Oh!
( phone rings )
- Hello. - Margaret.
It's Bree. I'm in New York.
It turns out this whole jail episode was just a big mistake.
Talk to me.
He's a thoroughly independent young man.
We're getting along famously.
He's going to come visit me after my surgery,
and I promised to take him to Disneyland.
I see.
So I thought I'd take an early flight back tomorrow,
get back to work,
recoup some of the money I spent on this trip
before my surgery next week.
- How are you? - Right now,
I'm a little disappointed because you're lying to me.
Is there anything else you'd like to say?
There appears to be a step-father.
Perhaps I can affect a reunion.
Have you ever head of a place called Callicoon?
I just conferred with my immediate superior at the church.
It seems she feels that getting you away
from this unwholesome environment is my moral duty.
Free ride, free food, free hotel rooms,
all the way to L.A.
Uh-huh. Nothin's free.
You're gonna end up marryin' her and spending the rest of your life
eating out cob-webby old stank Christian pussy.
Hey, something for the road, my man?
The finest Tecate.
Fuck, no, man. I'm givin' that shit up.
Come on. It's only five dollars a bag over street price.
Convenience charge.
We could take it out of your cut if she buys the car.
Fuck you, dude.
All right.
Whatever. You're the man.
No, wait. Hey.
I'm not marrying you.
Glory Hallelujah.
Almost new fan belt.
I changed the oil a couple of months ago.
Only 230,000 miles.
It just needs a little paint.
That's all. It runs perfect.
Guaranteed.
I've already arranged a rental.
But with this one, when you get to California,
you could resell, make a profit.
A profit?
Fasten your seatbelt.
I don't like wearing them.
Well, I don't like the idea of seeing your internal organs
splattered all over the dashboard
in case we get in a wreck, God forbid, so put it on.
See this shirt?
Only cost me two dollars.
- Quel surprise. - And the shoes.
Three dollars-- $1.50 each.
You know how much these things are worth in Japan?
- Three dollars. - Like $500.
Japanese people will kill for old Nikes.
Then you probably should avoid wearing them in Japan.
Yeah, I'd probably be, like, disemboweled by a ninja.
You don't have to say "Like."
"Probably disemboweled by a ninja" is sufficient.
And please don't put your feet up on the dashboard.
No smoking in the car.
( calypso-type music on radio )
I thought instead of going west on route 95,
we'd wind through the mountains on route 20.
- Route 20 takes us close to Callicoon. - I don't want to go there.
( switches to hard rock station )
( switches back )
What I find absolutely beyond comprehension
is how a person can perform all those intimate acts
with just any stranger off the street.
Why should you give a shit?
Because it's the Christian thing to do.
How much money did you make per...assignation?
Forty or fifty dollars.
Are we gonna be goin' through Texas?
It's a pretty hard state to avoid.
Do you have any money for some food?
( shower running )
Oh.
Uh, I'm sorry I can't offer you a private room.
The church has to conserve its resources.
I've charted us a course on the nice little red routes.
Callicoon is only about 45 minutes out of our way.
I don't wanna go there.
These are nice beds.
Don't you have any pajamas?
No.
Well, you should get some.
Good night.
( sighs deeply )
Rise and shine.
Up, up, up.
We've got a schedule to keep.
Did I put on too much blush? ( laughs nervously )
You're weird.
( Toby urinating )
Hmm.
( toilet flushes )
First place I lived was, like, a hole in the wall off Avenue C.
I had, like, four roommates.
One was a junkie, one was a crack head,
one was, like, a junkie, and the other one was,
well, like, a junkie.
Like, like, like.
Did you know the Lord OfThe Rings is gay?
I beg your pardon.
There's this big, black tower, right?
And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing,
and it's, like, the symbol of ultimate evil.
And then,
Sam and Frodo have to go into this cave
and deposit their magic ring
into this hot, steaming lava pit.
Only at the last minute,
Frodo can't perform, so Gollum bites off his finger.
Gay.
# Take 'em away #
# Take 'em away, Lord #
# Take away these chains from me #
# My heart is broken 'cause my spirit's not free #
# Lord, take away these chains from me #
# Some birds' feathers are too proud to be caged #
# I know I'm not that colorful #
# But a bird just the same #
# Open up your gate now, let me put down my load #
# So I can feel at ease and go back to my home #
# Take 'em away #
# Take 'em away, Lord #
# Take away these chains from me #
What the fuck you lookin' at?
I just didn't think it was right
to come so close to Callicoon without at least passing through.
Toby!
Where are you going?
You are acting like a spoiled child.
Oh, my God, I can't believe my eyes.
It's my sweet little angel baby.
# Take away these chains from me #
# My heart is broken 'cause my spirit's not free #
Just give me another hug.
Oh, I could wring your neck like a chicken.
My favorite boy.
And all this time, not even a phone call
to let me know if you're alive or dead.
I was never your favorite.
Oh, that's what you think.
I used to look at him out that window,
playin' all day with that big dog.
Toby lived near here?
Just two doors up the road.
So, what you been doin' with yourself?
I wanna know everything.
He's been in New York, working toward developing
a career in the film industry.
I'm goin' to California.
California?!
He always was the artistic type.
He used to have this precious stuffed monkey
he carried around with him everywhere, even to school.
Are you in the movie business, too?
She's a missionary with the church.
Praise the Lord.
I'm an electrologist myself.
Oh.
If you want, I can get
those couple of little hairs up under your nose in nothin' flat.
My boss lady down at the salon,
she used to work out in California.
From what I hear, some of them Hollywood beauties
used to be hairy as hogs.
There.
That oughta keep 'em from stickin' their heads up again.
Thank you.
You ought to go on over and say hello to your step-daddy.
- I don't wanna see him. - Of course you do.
The man raised you.
Clothed you. Fed you.
Sheltered you from harm.
He's your father...
for all practical purposes.
He always was a sensitive thing.
You gonna drive him all the way to California?
I have to get some air. Excuse me, and thank you.
( knocking on door )
- Yeah? - Good evening.
Do you per chance know a Toby Wilkins?
Who's askin'?
I am a bearer of glad tidings.
Your son has come home.
Good.
- ( door opens ) - Toby, Arletty.
I brought back a surprise.
Come on in.
Look who's here.
BREE: If you can't bring Mohammad to the mountain,
bring the mountain to Mohammad.
Look how much you've grown.
Toby, give your father a hug.
I was worried sick about you.
Why did you run off like that? You know I missed you.
- lsn't this sweet? - Mm-Hmm.
TOBY: I knowwhat you missed.
You missed my mouth. You missed my ass.
You hush now.
What are these ladies gonna think?
You wanna fuck me right here in front of 'em?
You shut up!
ARLETTY' Bobby!
Was that good for you?
Come on, Bobby.
You liked it.
- You liked it in the garage. - Shut up!
Come on.
Toby?
Honey?
This man is heavy with sin.
Put him in that chair there.
( Bobby groaning )
I don't know you, Bobby Jensen.
He'll come to in a couple of hours.
This isn't my fault!
You never told me why you didn't want to come home.
Where are you going?
Brought you some breakfast.
He's walkin' down to the highway ramp to hitchhike hisself a ride.
He's a disappearing act, all right.
It's the same thing he did after his mama killed herself.
- She what? - Mm-hmm.
Shut herself up in the garage with the car on.
Toby found her there when he come home from school.
Oh, God.
Lovely scenery in this part of the country.
I said I'd take a ride from you.
I never said I'd carry on a fucking conversation.
I was just trying to do you a favor.
God knows,
considering the way you've been living your life,
it wasn't unreasonable to try to put you under
some sort of parental supervision.
What's that?
Is that drugs?
Oh, no. Absolutely not.
Goddamn it!
No! That is not all right. You can't do that here.
Are you gonna let me do my thing,
or do I have to get out of this fucking car right now?
- Huh? - Go ahead.
Kill yourself.
What does it matter to me?
One chocolate milkshake for you and coffee for your mother.
- I'm not his mother. - She's not my mother.
Thank you.
( belches )
# You promised with the new moon #
# You'd be comin' back to me #
# Now many moons have passed #
# Still I'm waitin' patiently #
# There's a new moon over my shoulder #
# And an old love still in my heart #
I didn't sleep a wink last night.
- Let's look for a motel. - I'm camping out.
( car door shuts )
Do you have something a trifle less...butch?
Fettuccine al fredo
or chicken cordon bleu.
( mosquito buzzing )
Chicken.
Uh... matches?
Fuck!
Excuse me.
I have to go to the ladies room.
Do you think there are snakes around here?
Shoo! Shoo!
Shoo!!
Get away, snake.
Get away, you snake.
Get away, snake.
Where did you get that?
I had it.
( loons calling )
- What is that awful sound? - It's a loon.
Certain Native American tribes of the Northern plains
believed loons were ancestral spirits,
trying to communicate with the physical world.
My real dad's part lndian.
- Is he? - Yeah.
I mean, he never told me, but I just know.
It's an lndian thing.
Do you think you could find it in your heart
to offer a sip of that to a lady?
Are you sick or something?
I'm fine.
These are vitamins.
When I was a little girl, I had a terrycloth bunny.
I used to sleep with her every night.
- ( hiccups ) - Try holding your breath.
Then one day, my parents decided
I was too old for her, and I never saw her again.
I found...
him...
in your step-father's garage.
Oh!
( chuckles )
( vomiting )
Oh!
Oh, uh... here.
( vomiting )
( frog croaking )
Rise and shine. Come on.
Let's go.
I've gotta be in L.A. By the end of the week.
What would you say if I told you
I could set you up with a job in the telemarketing field?
The nice thing about telemarketing is you can live practically anyplace.
I could drop you off in Austin.
I'm going to California.
My real dad has a mansion there with a pool.
What do you see your life like ten years from now?
Probably get a job at a pet store.
Have a dog, maybe some kids.
Kids.
I always wanted kids.
Perhaps you ought to aim for something a little higher
than working in a pet store.
If you like animals, you could become a veterinarian
or a zoologist.
( sighs ) I'm out of cigarettes.
Quel dommage.
What does quel dommage mean?
It means you're not getting any cigarettes.
Are you a boy or a girl?
Turn around and stop botherin' people.
Margaret, thank God.
I am in the middle of Arkansas,
and an eight-year-old child just read me.
I can't handle this.
I had to camp out last night...
on the ground...
with bugs.
Because he is impossible.
I can't fritter away my savings like this.
- My surgery's only five days away. - Shit!
Dallas? I don't know.
Four or five hours. Why?
Ho-ho-hold on.
Toby. Toby!
Would you mind introducing me to your new friend?
Taylor.
Yeah. This is Taylor.
It's nice to meet you, Taylor.
What's goin' on here?
Come on.
Your mother's waitin' for you in the car.
You better watch out he doesn't get some poor, innocent girl in trouble.
You better watch out she doesn't end up
ruining some poor, innocent boy's life.
You...
go wait for me at the table.
Margaret...
I really don't think I am cut out to be a mother.
Dear God, bless this meal,
and please help Toby to find the strength
not to take any more drugs,
so that when we get to L.A., he can get a job
and find a nice apartment
so that even if he never finds his real father,
he can lead an independent life.
Amen.
There's a really cool hat back there. It's only ten dollars.
I think my nose is getting sunburned.
Eat your vegetables.
You might want to use a fork. Just an idea.
I tell you what.
You can have that hat on one condition.
No more drugs.
I mean it.
Deal?
Deal.
Got you a present.
Thank you. I'm very...
touched.
Put it on.
It looks good.
# I found Jesus in the darkest night #
You get back in here!
Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?
In, in!
- ln! - Okay.
Get in!
- was holding on. - You wanna give me a heart attack?
Did I scare you?
TOBY: Why are we goin' to Dallas?
BREE: An associate of mine
has arranged a place for us to stay for the night.
This Mary Ellen woman's being very generous
to offer us her hospitality,
so I hope you will be on your best behavior.
I'm always on my best behavior.
( ringing doorbell )
Sabrina and Toby, right?
I'm Mary Ellen.
Come on in.
I'm havin' a little get-together.
You two just come on in and make yourselves at home.
Mary Ellen, come here.
Felicia's showing us her new vagina.
I'm sorry. They're feelin' a little feisty.
Everybody, this is Sabrina,
and her handsome escort here is Toby.
- Hi. - Hi.
How y'all?
Margaret said you were stealth.
I am in public,
but this is the privacy of my own home.
Welcome to the first meetin' of the gender pride
President's Day weekend Caribbean cruise planning committee.
( scattered applause )
- We have to go. - No.
Where you guys know each other from?
We don't.
She's a friend of a friend....
of a friend.
There's rum punch in the kitchen and guacamole in the dining room.
Yeah, don't be so uptight. It's a party.
Margaret told me you were plannin' to have your surgery soon.
Toby doesn't know about me.
You're stealth to him?
Oh, sugar dumplin'!
MARY ELLEN: Don't worry, honey. We've all been there.
I'll pass the word.
It was one of those instant best friend things.
At the time, we were both straight men.
What could you do with that?
We had our surgery on the same day.
We ended up holding hands in the recovery room.
And now this gorgeous creature's the love of my life.
We were just telling your friend
a little bit about the transsexual lifestyle.
Mmm.
Not what you're used to in church, huh?
These are vaginal dilators.
She just had her surgery last month.
This is Keanu two.
This is Keanu three.
Where's Keanu one?
Keanu one is in Hollywood filming a major science-fiction epic,
and we don't want to hear a snarky remark about him.
We're not gender-challenged, we're gender-gifted.
I've been woman and I've been man,
and I know more things than you single-sex people
can even imagine.
Dude, I thought you were a real guy.
We walk among you.
BREE: That poor thing couldn't pass on a dark night at 200 yards.
In the pink.
You better check your T-dar, honey. She's a G.G.
- A what? - A genuine girl.
From Mary Kay.
If you let her do a color trial, she'll give you a free compact.
# Oh, give me a home #
# Where the buffalo roam #
# And the deer and the antelope play #
# With each other #
# Where seldom is heard #
# A discouraging word #
# And the skies are not cloudy all day #
Everybody!
# Home, home on the range #
# Where the deer and the antelope play #
# Where seldom is heard #
# A discouraging word #
# And the skies are not cloudy all day #
( toilet flushes )
Oh!
Ah!
Sorry.
( Bree clears throat )
Could you hand me my robe, please?
The pink satin.
It's by the...
thank you.
It's an unfortunate side effect of my pills.
They're a diuretic.
Gross.
A diuretic.
It means you go number one, not number two.
Listen, I'm sorry about those ersatz women.
What?
Ersatz. It means phony.
Something pretending to be something it's not.
( sniffs loudly )
I thought they were nice.
Zoologists are the guys that work in the zoos, right?
Yes, among other places.
I never met my real dad.
My mom never talked about him.
I'm gonna go live with him, though.
As soon as I get enough money,
I can get some nice clothes,
and knock on his door, surprise him.
Do your mom and dad live in California, too?
My parents are dead.
Do you like zoos?
I don't mind the modern ones, I guess.
The animals may not be free, but they're safe.
Yeah. Me, too.
Night.
Good night.
( door closes )
- Did you go to college? - Yes.
- What did you study? - A lot of things.
French, cultural anthropology,
archaeology, psychology, art history. Yuck.
TOBY: Possum.
Biology.
80 million years ago during the cretaceous period,
these plains were the floor of a huge inland sea.
We there yet?
If you don't wanna learn anything, then never mind.
All right, I'm listening.
It cut the entire continent in two.
Dinosaurs lived on either side.
Then a huge meteor struck the earth.
Some people say that's why the dinosaurs went extinct,
but why should the insects, birds and mammals have survived?
- Why? - I don't know,
but it's always seemed a little bit fishy to me.
Did you know they found giant shark remains
in the middle of Kansas?
How big were they?
Big enough to swallow you without even chewing.
( makes biting sound )
( farting sound )
- Got you. - You did not.
( louder farting sound )
- ( both laughing ) - I got you.
Ah, you got me in the eye, you got me in the eye.
I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?
Ha ha! Got you.
Ow!
Stop it.
Ow!
Seriously, watch the road.
You drive.
I hope we pass a rest stop soon.
My diuretic's kicking in.
Do rattlesnakes come out at night?
( sighs )
Well...
I must say, that's a relief. ( chuckles )
Something wrong?
This is a no-smoking room.
New Mexico is the ufology capital of the world.
Ufology.
From U.F.O.
The study of unidentified flying objects.
You know, social ostracism doesn't work in a community of two.
Damn it, Toby, say something.
I wanna go to Sammy's Wigwam.
Here's some arrowheads.
They're only a dollar each.
He's been acting like that all day.
( pounding )
Young man, if you don't start behaving in a civilized fashion,
you and I are going to have a very serious problem.
Fuck you.
Hey, you watch your mouth around your mother.
She is not my mother! She's not anyone's mother.
She's not even a real woman.
She's got a dick.
Don't you?!
Don't you? Go on, tell him.
You're a fuckin' lying freak.
What do you want outta me?
Just because a person doesn't go around
blabbing her entire biological history
to everyone she meets doesn't make her a liar.
Why didn't you just tell me the truth?
So you could humiliate me in public even sooner?
You knew all about me.